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(Pronounced like "Liberace")
The Man with 1000 Suits!!?!!!
**name courtesy of some of the crewmembers of Mercury Boats Skyline Cruise Line
**Click on the image, above, to see the full size picture. Look for a "vision in green" on the lower level of the bridge, just to the right of the "Michigan Av' sign!! Then, hit your browser's "Back" button to return to this page.

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It is 2003, and the annual Major League Baseball All-Star game is being played at the home of the Chicago White Sox, US Cellular Field (Comiskey Park).

In honor of the All-Star game, the public art exhibit this year consists of 34 bobbleheads.  These are six foot high baseball player statues.  They represent all the teams in both the American League, and the National League.  There are also three All-Star statues.  Each statue is decorated with colors appropriate to the team that it represents.

The pictures on this web site are pictures of myself wearing outfits that match the various bobblehead statues.  They are organized by the baseball divisions in which the various teams are.  So, the division lineups you see here are what was in place for the 2003 season.  If Major League Baseball, in the future, decides to make any changes in the division lineups, this web site will not be updated accordingly.  What you see here will always be the division lineups in 2003.

Within each division, the pictures are placed in the order of how the teams placed in their division.  Also, the National League teams are listed first because the Florida Marlins (NL) beat the New York Yankees (AL) in the World Series.

The images at the top of this page are the official logos of the Major League Baseball 2003 All Star Game, as well as, the Chicago White Sox Major League baseball team.

In honor of the great game of base ball, here is some baseball humor, done in my own special way.

At some point late in the game, the players and fans might start shooting rubber bands at each other.  This would be called the "Seventh Inning Stretch".  Then everyone in the ballpark can "band" together!!!

If a player bunts the ball down the third base line while wearing women's clothing, it would be called a "drag" bunt.

If a baseball game is canceled due to precipitation, it might be because a priest said the following prayer:  My Lord, everlasting is thy "rain".  Father, you are truly all "wet"!!

The batter lays down a perfect bunt, but he still gets thrown out by an eyelash.  In disgust, he runs out of the ballpark, directly into the path of an oncoming steam roller.  This would be known as a "suicide squeeze".

Any good baseball team should have an entomologist on their coaching staff.  He can teach the players to take the appropriate insect, and turn it into a "sacrifice fly".  After that, it is up to the players to work out the "bugs"!!

Let's say a pitcher finds himself in a very bad situation.  It is the seventh game of the World Series.  His team is playing on the road. It is the bottom of the ninth inning with a tie score.  The bases are loaded with nobody out.  And he has a three ball, no strike count on the batter.  The pitching coach should go out to the mound with a jar of jelly.  The pitcher can use that to get out of the "jam"!!

It is late in the game, with the temperature in the upper 90's, and a heat index of over 110 degrees.  If a container of ice cold water is brought out to the mound, that would be known as the "relief pitcher"!!

The batter hits a ball over the outfield fence, directly into an earthen ware jar.  This would truly be an "urned" run!!

If a base runner pours a certain molten metal on each base as he runs by it, he would be known as a base "steeler".  Of course, he would have to "iron" out his differences with the manager!!

Let's say a batter stands at the plate, and writes out the letters, "W", "A", "L", and "K", on a sheet of paper.  Then, no matter how his at-bat turns out, he can still say that he "drew a walk"!!

A person runs across the baseball field stark naked, and is being chased by a man dressed in full leather wielding a whip.  This would be called a "hitting streak".  Everyone in the ballpark would have to "bare" with it!!

A player is sent to hit for the next man in the lineup.  If the manager gives him a little squeeze with the tip of his fingers, the player would be a "pinched" hitter!!

A goose or duck is flying over the field.  A batted ball that hits the bird, would be known as a "fowl" ball.  That would truly be "for the birds"!!

If the baseball park has a restaurant, then there would always be a "play at the plate".  Just "food" for thought!!












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Vincent P. Falk

Copyright 2003 by Vincent P. Falk

Last Modified : 01/28/10 09:51 PM